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As an adult have you ever felt judged unfairly for the actions you have chosen to take? Have you had family or friends questioning your judgement, or even your ability to make the right decisions for yourself? This is particularly hard, when you feel that your inner voice, prayer, meditation or heart is clearly pushing you in the right direction. Especially when you have made conscious decisions, based on those heartfelt feelings or an inner knowing. The choice feels right to you, even if you changed your mind about something that you previously felt was right, or was best for you at the time?
We all have or had parents, teachers, family and friends who like to share their knowledge and love, in the hopes of helping us with their experiences. They are also sharing with us the knowledge gained from their parents and generations before us, good or bad. We then consider whether the information is right or wrong for us at the time, or if a grain of that knowledge, could be used to help us to make better choices.
I am not talking about choices that are made, by those who feel under duress, stress or mental illness. In that case, a medical professional or designated family member or friend could help. Making decisions with a clear mind it is an entirely different situation. It is virtually impossible to make positive choices, if you are upset, as your rational mind is not functioning properly.
Of course, there are necessarily, situations that need to be brought to the light of day, that humanity collectively need to change, particularly, when it affects basic human rights. Here, I am discussing how our personal relationships can negatively be affected when there is no sense of respect or boundaries between individuals.
You, yourself have most certainly have had an opinion about another person, or their actions in your life and the lives of others. You may have even gone so far as to decide if they were right or wrong, as human beings we tend to do that. There is of course, a world of difference between stating a fact as it is and feeling the need to comment on, or even try to change something in someone else’s personal life, even if it appears to be right in our minds.
Often, we want the outcome of a situation to be one of our choosing because it makes us feel more comfortable in ourselves. Which actually has nothing to do with the other person or people concerned.
I believe we are all “Souls,” here to learn, by human experience and the choices that we make, as individuals. We create situations and meet new people throughout our lives, who can (hopefully), help us and we them, by sharing our light to become wiser people. As a firm believer in reincarnation,( the process of living many lives, not just one) for me, the whole point of it all, is to grow and become better able, to love our fellow men and women without conditions, that is to just love them regardless of their choices and to trust that there is a reason behind everything which may or may not have anything to do with us personally.
Who are we to judge what is right or wrong for another person? Who are we to decide what another person’s lessons or journey are all about? The assumption here, is that we eventually return to “God”, “The Universe”, “Source”, “All that is,” whatever you decide is the name of that higher power for you, and relinquish our free will to that energy, to be used as it Wills. In truth, I believe in part, that we do that, by being of service to humanity in positive ways, even with something as a simple smile, that could brighten someone else’s day.
Of course, at this time in our human evolution, we need laws and court systems to aid in bringing others, to the understanding of their wrong doing or actions to humanity. To eventually become more aware and develop a conscience.
Just as a point of reference, from the King James Bible, Matthew 7:2 simply put as simple translation, states: Do not judge, as you will be judged for whatever it is that you do.
Essentially that wisdom shows up in many religious books and spoken by many wise teachers down through the ages. To me, that means we would all do better to come to a place of understanding and love, and acceptance of what is, on a one to one basis, instead of having an opinion about each other (yes, I am guilty of that too and constantly working on it!) We would all do better to ‘check’ ourselves - none of us are perfect. No one person is perfect. Unconditional love of all humanity and the ability to forgive, is a hard attainment and certainly takes many lives to achieve,
Jesus said Those of you without Sin (wrong doing), let him/her cast the first stone. Meaning, you don’t have the right to judge another person, unless you are perfect yourself and who is? Judgement is a place without understanding and love, often with a hidden agenda and a need to control a situation.
If people are judging you constantly, are you judging others? In my experience what goes around comes around.
Better to allow your love, wisdom and understanding to be present instead, rather than your judgement. No one knows with certainty our individual’s soul’s journey, not even our ourselves.
Everything we do is either a lesson or a growth opportunity for us and the people around us. We are all teachers and students.
Just to be sure, can you put yourself in the other persons ‘shoe’s’ and walk around for a few minutes. Are you able to feel with some measure of compassion and understanding of the other person’s feelings? Consider how would you feel, if someone you cared about, judged your choices and questioned you without trying to understand?
At the end of each day, if can we check in with ourselves, to see if we could have handled a situation differently or better, perhaps with more compassion or love. Was it really necessary to intervene? Will our actions or comments create a positive outcome or create more tension or separation in the relationship/friendship you have with that other person? Could you have stepped back for a moment and walked more softly on another’s heart or just breathed for few moments, to try and understand someone else’s feelings? Consider, would being silent have been a better option?
Ultimately, we can only live our best life by being examples of love, kindness, and forgiveness. Knowing when to have the wisdom and respect to be silent and let other people take care of their business as we mind ours.
If you truly believe that your intervention or shared thoughts helped a situation, and you know in your heart it was the right thing to do, then be at peace with yourself because everything happens for a reason.
These are my lessons, which have enhanced my life and I offer them with love and in service rather than as a prescription.
Amanda Vinson

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