Coaching the Mouse - A lighter look at Life Coaching
Some years ago, I wrote the piece I am about to share with you, I hope it makes you smile if not laugh out loud? It demonstrates the simple basics of The Six Step Coaching Model.
This morning my cat brought into the house, a live mouse, (a delightful gift...if you are also a cat). Not being one who enjoys sharing my space with mice or rodents of any kind, I spent the best part of the morning trying to liberate it. The Mouse quite suddenly, became my client and I the Life Coach.
What was the desired outcome or goal for this situation?
We established that the ultimate goal of the mouse - The Client, was to escape from the Cat (The obstacle) and live happily on somewhere out there in the world. My role as the Life Coach was to help facilitate that process, in as short a time as possible! This raised several challenges for both the client and the Life Coach but we were certainly on the same page! Especially as the Life Coach and her visiting friend were at this point, actually perched on kitchen chairs to avoid the mouse.
Where was the Client?
The client, was hiding under the dryer; his adversary the Cat was close by watching. The goal was to get past the cat or have the Life Coach at least distract him from his prey...
Because the mouse values his life and freedom in the world and wants to live.
When did it want to be free and what were the Life Coach's expectations of the outcome?
Just as surely as the Client wanted to be free of the cat’s influence, the Life Coach wanted to be rid of the Client's situation immediately! Although it may appear to be the Coach's agenda, it transpired that both the client and the coach had the same desired outcome in mind. Therefore, both client and coach had to draw on their resources of positive states of mind, which would then facilitate confidence in the outcome and the attainment of the goal!
Who would benefit?
Both the Client and the Life Coach would benefit from the attainment of the goal. The aim was clear, the Client wanted to survive. The Life Coach quickly established the Client's strengths and weaknesses, along with the possible opportunities and threats (to overcome) which could arise on route to the goal.
How was the goal attained?
Various methods were tried. The goal was set and over a period of time, it was recognized that some of the methodology was not appropriate for this Client. FEAR being the major issue from both parties. In the meantime, the cat maintained his focus!
Finally, the Client disappeared up the vacuum cleaner, where he sat and was determined to remain. (No, it was not switched on at the time)
After careful consideration, the Life Coach decided to elevate the Client to the next level, by lifting up the vacuum cleaner while the Client was still inside of it, to re-establish him to his former environment in the garden. This action still proved to be rather challenging for the Client, as he needed to be encouraged to leave his comfort zone within the cleaner, to be able to move forward to his next goal. In this case, the goal was to find his way home, avoiding the Cat on route and then be able to find food for himself. By this time, he was exhausted, starving and needed considerable encouragement...
The Life Coach then decided to motivate the Client to free himself from inside of the vacuum cleaner, by gentle tapping with a stick until the Client jumped out of the cleaner and ran home.
Ultimate goal realized!
Summary: There are no situations in Life that can't be coached!
Please note however that this Life Coach, does not habitually use sticks to encourage clients out of their comfort zones!
By Amanda Vinson
Master Life Coach and Spiritual Holistic Journey Master Coach
Love is for-giving, interesting way to look at the word "forgiving" don't you think?
Being "unforgiving" leaves us with feelings of mistrust, a grudges, resentment, and hollow empty feelings, which is usually rooted in anger, hurt or fear?
Often, we can't forgive ourselves for our past transgressions, never mind forgiving anyone else!
When there is a deep feeling that we have been wronged or have guilty feelings about something we may have done, there is usually a subconscious desire to punish either ourselves or the other person or people involved.
What good does that punishment do if it stays in our in our minds unresolved and festering?
It can actually create illness in our bodies - dis-ease, ( Please reference: Louise L Hay's work). Although sometimes, illness is a part of our journey to growth, not just for ourselves but for the souls around the sick person. Who learn to care for them, which then helps them to grow too.
As individuals, not forgiving (or turning the other cheek, if you prefer?) can create blocks in our ability to function in certain areas of our lives, because it may mean becoming vulnerable again, opening ourselves up to more potential unknown pain. Saying "I am sorry", can end that pain in ourselves and other's instead of pride encouraging us to just sweep it under the rug..
By forgiving others' it's the same, we may have to open ourselves to being hurt, humiliated, feeling unappreciated or even the feeling of being used.
Please don't carry this!
It is possible to make the next generation suffer in this way too, either through our DNA or by what we believe in ourselves to be true, a negative thought belief, which we can impose on our families or our children.
So, can we then just ponder this...
Not being able to forgive, sets us up for more disappointment, it stops our mind from functioning correctly because distress disables us from thinking clearly. Ever watchful for the next error. We all make mistakes, in our lives, dare I say on our journey to growth, enlightenment and unconditional love, that's why we are here, to grow! Just as little children grow and learn.
If we are made in God's/The Universe/All that Is, image, surely we must forgive ourselves and other souls on our spiritual journeys as we are forgiven?
Frankly, it helps to just put the load down! The load of judgement, opinions and criticism. What we put out there will come back to us. Try to accept everyone as they are.
Not carrying any high expectations of those in our lives. We learn that we can trust, that we are all doing the best we can, in any given moment, (everyone is!) then we can release so much that is unnecessary baggage.
Our individual journeys are all different, who is to judge another soul's journey?
In my experience, the person who drives you a little crazy, is the one who best teaches you patience.
The person who is always late or forgetful encourages not only patience but understanding.
The person who has emotional or health issues, encourages compassion.
The person who let's us down at the last minute, gives you an opportunity to check with ourselves, do you let people down at the last minute?
The person who just picks people up and down as it suits them?
The person who expects everyone to contact them first, never actually reaching out themselves?
We are truly loved, if the people we do that too forgive us and let it go.
Those who are financially poor in this life, hopefully teach us generosity with ourselves and others. In whatever "currency" we have available, a smile, a heartfelt hug or even money!
If you believe in Karma or past lives, maybe you owe someone in this life, perhaps someone who cared for you deeply or even saved your life needs something from you in this life to help them grow? Even if that lesson is to teach them to be more responsible for themselves? That same lesson is learned whomever we forgive in this life.
Our creator is always teaching us, if we are open to seeing, hearing or feeling. This is the journey to peace, to relinquishing the need to control everything and trusting, that all is in reality, in "Divine right order" for our journey's as individuals.That is the beginning of wisdom, essentially, to Let Go and Let God.
In this journey we are co-creators of, we have choice because we have free will. How much longer before you choose to free yourself and other's of this heavy burden of non-forgiving? Forgiveness is freedom, no matter how many times you have to do it. You may also need to forgive yourself, from walking away from something that is not aligned with your own" true self." That means that you can forgive but you don't have to condone the actions of others and may choose to distance yourself from them. Perhaps that is also the lesson?
We affect everyone we come in contact with but it is not for us to say what their lesson is. Be true to yourself, be aware of your inner guidance because it comes from a place of LOVE. It is God who makes the final call, not us. Let it go, move on!
The end result is Peace.
Perhaps you could even forgive me, for being a little late with my monthly blog!
Wishing you all the Grace of Forgiveness in it's many forms.
Gratitude is a Great Attitude
I believe that for the most part people are grateful for their lives, family and friends. “Thank you” should be an automatic response, when someone does us a kindness or a service but are we really Grateful? Do we really appreciate the loving people in our lives? What about good health and being able to hear a child’s laughter or a beautiful song? The beauty we see in the world around us? The work we do, the home in which we live or the food that we have to eat?
So very often we forget to be Grateful for the simple things and hurry through our lives not really considering other people, their thoughts or feelings. Sometimes even those of our family and friends. Can you honestly say you thanked everyone today, considered everyone’s feelings, in response to your actions, how do you feel you affected everyone in your path? Did you honor your own feelings?
Were you focused in positive thought and Love? Did you keep your promises or just let someone down, thinking it wouldn’t bother them? Could your thoughtfulness or kindness have made someone’s day, today? Did you give something away today without thought of yourself, to someone in need? We would all miss our loved ones, if they just disappeared because we didn’t show our Love and appreciation for them.
As my dear friend Robert once said, “We all call on God/The Universe/All That Is, when we are in trouble and pray that we will receive the help we need, but do we remember to thank God/ The Universe/All That Is, when everything in our lives is wonderful?” Hopefully we do…
It’s an interesting concept “Gratitude,” in my experience the more grateful we are, the more abundance we receive. Simple acts of kindness whatever they are, have Universal repercussions. The smile we give, the time, the help and in return, eventually we will find ourselves the recipients of these actions. Our family, friends and sometimes even strangers, are the messengers bringing us what we need, the encouragement, the listening ear, the patience or the help. The simplest acts of Love. What we give out, we get back at some time or another.
The opposite is also true if we are negative, selfish or think negative, angry or spiteful thoughts or even express them out loud.
Some of us tithe a portion of our incomes or give to charities regularly, this is another way of expressing our love towards our fellow human beings, all human beings.
Abundance will come back to you in many ways, if you are Grateful and acknowledge the blessings you have every day.
The Abundance of the Universe comes in many forms.
Are you Grateful for everything you have learned through your life, even the in hindsight lessons? The stuff of pain, tragedy, and joy, and even overcoming, molds us into who we are today. That may also involve forgiveness of ourselves and others, which we will discuss at length another time. Let’s just say it’s easier to live with ourselves and others, if we can forgive swiftly. Remembering that we are all human and make mistakes as we grow in age or wisdom.
Perhaps at the end of the day, consider,” How could I have done things better?” “Could I have responded, instead of reacting?” “Was I wrong, do I need to correct something?” Then act on it if you can, be Grateful for the things that we so easily take for granted.
Personally, I realize more every day, that which I am Grateful for and that each day shows me something new to be Grateful for. I try to share what I have, (whatever that may be), perhaps you could do the same and see how quickly that Love and Abundance returns to you.
By Amanda Vinson
Each and every day we have an opportunity to learn from the people we talk too. If we are open to listening, we can receive amazing new tools. These tools can be shared to help others.
Today, I spoke to a wonderful lady who has given me permission to share this part of her journey, my many thanks to her. For many years she has suffered from debilitating depression which has often made it difficult to get through each day.
Recently, this lady felt compelled to buy a journal to write down all the negative feelings and words that she felt, when overwhelmed with the sadness or anger that comes with depression. Her intention was then to burn the journal, sounds like a good idea, right?
After a couple of days she realized that by writing down all the negative words and feelings she had, she was creating more negativity in her life! Affirming it in fact. Then a better idea came to her...
The journal, could be used, to write down all the special moments and memories from childhood up to adulthood that had made her laugh!
Even in depression, there are moments when the sunlight of laughter peeks through. Those memories of joy, the funny unexpected times that catch us off guard.
The resulting peals of laughter, which can make us physically helpless with aching tummies and smiles that hurt our faces! The fast attempt to run to the bathroom, in case we wet ourselves but laughing so hard that we do anyway!
The idea of this kind of journal, was truly an inspiration and I admire the wisdom in the lady concerned, who shared it.
Truthfully, if we are open to our own enlightenment, in it's many forms, it can be delivered when we least expect it!) We can really begin the journey towards our own healing, using whatever method feels right to us as individuals.
Consider also how this"Laughter Journal" could help future generations as they read the stories and laugh themselves! What a wonderful gift, an amazing way to learn about the people who came before us and their happy memories. Laughter is always a wonderful remedy!
The native north American Indians and many other cultures, revere the story tellers and why not? They tell the story of their ancestors who found a way through their struggles with laughter and faith that everything changes with time.
Putting our Spiritual Life, (Meditation and Prayer), at the start of our day brings everything into alignment for it to fall into Divine Right Order. What is Divine Right Order? It is the belief that everything happens for a reason and that God/The Universe (call it what you will), allows things to happen - in other words God/The Universe creates that which is best for us to learn and grow. If we visualize a new situation or positive outcome for each day, then we can allow ourselves to "go with the flow," we have released the situation, to God/ The Universe/All that Is, to do as it "Will" with our vision, within the collective consciousness of mankind. Understanding that we are co-creators with the Universe/God/Goddess/ All That Is. We bring into our lives what we "think" about. The Universe listens to what we want and delivers it sooner or later.
If the vision is consistent, I believe that eventually, it will manifest into our lives. Often unconsciously, we send out thoughts to change things we are uncomfortable with, to rid them from our lives, and then we panic when those changes begin to happen! Meditation encourages us to create inner peace, to deal with whatever comes our way.
As we are responsible for our co-creation (as we think, so we become), it stands to reason that positive thinking is the better option - creating the best possible outcome.
When a situation causes pain and distress to those living through it, fear is the element that destroys our best intentions of a positive outcome or inner peace - "What if this happens or that happens?" If a situation becomes one of "releasing or moving on," this is also a part of our journey to the next stage of our lives, to the next lesson, or to understanding or growth.
We must go within to find our inner peace again and the guidance we need or at the very least, listen to our intuition or gut feelings.
Holding on to an understanding - a "Faith", that All That Is, is actually in Divine Right Order, needs the consistency of our own personal Spiritual practice whatever that may be, in order for us to be able to handle things better!
Our world is going through tremendous changes right now. Is it not often true, that pain or suffering brings humanity together faster than anything else? That bringing together, creates LOVE not separation.
When something horrible happens in the world, a disaster perhaps or a war that divides people, there are always those who are willing to help and that encourages others to want to help also.
Even a simple prayer sends healing energy to where ever it is needed. A smile is a gift to someone else and who knows what healing that could initiate? The conscious knowing of this fact, combined with others doing the same thing, adds the power of love to it's intention or intended.
Hopefully in time, we can comprehend why our Faith is tested, it's in order to help us to gather the gifts of our own understanding, to change our situation and to share our new knowledge or awareness with others.
Everything happens for a reason, so we can grow into positivity and see the greater lesson or bigger picture down the road.
If we consider at the close of each day, "How could I have done things differently to make this day better, what would I change, if I were able?"
When I was impatient or irritated, could I have been kinder or more open to another person's thoughts/personal situation/ or even my own inner child?
Why was it so important, that I had my own way in that situation?
Who could I reach out too, to help me see another way, instead of having to be right all the time or need to control situations to make myself feel safe?
Where are my thoughts right now, are they positive or negative, in nature?
Let's remember, that if we individually and collectively are responsible for co-creating our lives with the Universe, we have a choice whether to change the way we think or not...?
Can you forgive and truly move on, without the need to punish those who wronged you, by reminding them, however subtlety?
Do you really try to act with love and kindness in your heart? Do you consider how your actions or words affect others? How often do you put yourself in someone else's shoes?
Did you know that every thought reaches it's destination? We are not here to judge another's journey, we all have different things to learn, so let's try and do that with compassion, 'but for the Grace of God, there go I".
The changes have to start with ourselves, be kind and gentle with yourself. Honesty with yourself and others about your real thoughts and dreams, clears the clutter of your mind and heart.
It's okay to reach out for any help you may need, just start the process of healing yourself today.